Everything changes once there is a status. I know in the past, all I wanted from him was give me the recognition I deserved. But just as he asked me after so long, I got a little apprehensive. I didn't want things to be different just because we were together officially. I thought he'd be something different. But everything still seems the same as others. Now I just end up feeling disappointed again. sigh. At first, it was still alright. I was so happy everything felt so surreal. But eventually things still became like stagnant. Screw expectations seriously. Yet its so hard for me to not have any. You understand what I mean?

And besides, I think I really could use a change of job. I'm sick of working here. :( My colleagues are great! But the workload is horrible! I don't like it one bit! :( Plus the festive mood is really ruined cause of work. I wanna go on holiday! :(

"Was on FB and I saw this note by Lin, as in she found it somewhere on deviantart which I thought was, well WHOA. Click Please go and read it. After which, this is what I think.


Do you realize this is something that is constantly happening? ): Why? During the start of the relationship, they can promise anything. Promises to give, promises to accept, promises to always be there. And we, always so stupid and naive. Always believing. And it always turns out the same. We are always left right at the same spot, looking back and wondering just what happened. The same person, but just not so similar to the one from the past anymore. And you would give anything to have it back, you know its highly not possible, but you still hope something perhaps a miracle could happen and things would go back to how they used to be. But most of the time, miracles just don't happen. Why? Why make promises you can't keep? And after breaking those promises, you go on to others and make the same promises, what's the use? You're still going to be breaking them in the end. Sigh. Now you know why I'm so cynical and adamant that that concept of Love just don't tally with reality. Because it just, doesn't. And we have all these living proof around us to constantly remind us. Don't fall back into that shithole, Quek. Don't."


Reading back, maybe they didn't change. Maybe they were the ones who were constant. Maybe I was the one who changed. Oh foolish me.

Wahhh madchio.com. Made a note, SF Varina Flats I will come to you when I have lots of money. Booya 420 USD, madex.com too. :(



Ohmygosh, I've become such a brand whore. :( Now Agnes b, Longchamp and Kate Spade is not enough! :( I'm craving some Chanel Gucci Prada and Salvatore Ferragamo! And not forgetting my Balenciaga. /drools.

Pretty PRETTY OMFG PRETTY BAGS! :D

I miss the past so much I think I can cry. But, things don't just go back to where they were just because I want them to.

Don't get me wrong. I'm happy with where my life is now. I'm happy with Jeremy. He makes me happy. He's sweet. He's everything and anything I could ask for. :) My best friend is awesome too. Despite everything thats happened, we still have each other. <3

But I just don't know. I miss being carefree as a student. Working does have its pros, in a way that my spending power has increased and all. But life's not all about money. And.. I really don't know what it is, but something's missing. And I wanna know what. :(

"Most of the time, its just too difficult, or too expensive, or too scary. Its only once you've stopped that you realise how hard it is to start again. So you force yourself not to want it. But its always there. And until you finish it, it'll always be..." - HIMYM, S06E03.



I still don't know what exactly 'we' are, but I know for sure now that what 'we' have, is real. (: Its gonna be an awesome journey. <3

Besides that, I think my life has reached stagnancy. Is that even a word? Like every single day, routine work. Crazy amount of workload. But super nice colleagues who dote on me :D But wahhhh, I totally don't envision myself slogging my whole life away there. :( I want something new, something refreshing, something more to what I like! But life's never fair isn't it? You can't have everything you like. Booooooo.

Sorry Alvin I blogged very little, its 2:07am and this is a shoutout to youuu! :D Brain barely functioning already.

And with that GOODNIGHT/MORNING WORLD!

Fashion: My 2 cents

credits: http://www.thesartorialist.blogspot.com/

Took a day off work today because I was just too tired from all the late nights doing nothing constructive. And besides, I brought work home so I thought 'why not just stay home and do them?'

Before I start, I must bring up the events of last Saturday. Was at Far East with the boy. Just got my pay, and recently I just couldn't decide what to wear. My wardrobe's sort of bursting; yet that still happened. I hate it! So I thought maybe I could use a little shopping.

But what the heck! I walked the whole shopping centre and I still couldn't find one piece of fabric, ANY TYPE AT ALL, that could render me speechless. Back in the days, I could find countless outfits but no money to fund them; now I can't find anything at all.

After that two rounds of aimlessly weaving in and out of stores performing touch and go-s, we left the shopping centre. I told the boy, "damnnn, I forgot how to shop."

This moment, I have been dreading the coming of this moment. And I think this happens to most Singaporean girls. Settling into the comfort of comformity. Cause looking back at that 'shopping trip', I did chanced upon a few articles that I would have bought without blinking last time, but now I just let it go. Its as though I'd rather buy something that everyone's wearing now over something that I like/more 'me'.

Its so sad. I feel sad.

What happened to me? I'm morphing into one of those street cats. All looking like the other. And lazy at that.

:(

Which brings me back to how I'm browsing http://www.lookbook.nu/ and http://www.thesartorialist.blogspot.com/ instead of doing my work. :x

I shall be hardworking and not lazy from now onwards. I wanna feel confident again! >:(

Time to:

1. Not eat so much; office job has made me chubbier! :(:(:(
2. Invest in a fitted blazer; Zara, Topshop, anywhere else?
3. Invest in shoes; how can I not realise this earlier, no more "slippers with anything"

• Black wedges
• Nude pump

Ehh, I'll add in more when I think of them :x

NOW ON TO WORK! :D

FUCKERS OF THE WORLD ALL GO AND DIE. DIE MOTHERFUCKERS I REALLY HOPE YOU DIE

SERIOUSLY YOU KNOW, THIS MOTHERFUCKER AH. I REALLY REALLY HOPE, FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, THAT YOU'LL DIE A SLOW AND EXCRUCIATINGLY SLOW DEATH. I AM DOING YOU A FAVOUR, BY APPEALING FOR YOU. YOU DON'T SHOW ME ATTITUDE. DON'T TELL ME THIS CHEAT MONEY THERE CHEAT MONEY. YOU TELL ME FOR WHAT FUCK. I AM WORKING FOR THE COMPANY. I AM NOT THE COMPANY. SO DON'T TELL ME. IF YOU REALLY KNOW LHL THEN ASK HIM TO PAY YOUR O.M. FOR YOU. DON'T APPEAL LA CCB. HATE THIS KIND OF PEOPLE. NEED PEOPLE HELP STILL WANNA SHOW ATTITUDE. IN THE FIRST PLACE I CAN JUST KEEP REJECTING YOU. YOU WANNA COME HERE AND LOOK FOR ME ALSO HARD. FUCKER. SOMEMORE SAY I ANYHOW SAY YOU THREATEN ME. HELLO YOU WANNA HOLD PRESS CONFERENCE IF WE DON'T APPROVE YOUR CASE THATS NOT THREATENING MEH? FUCK YOUR LAN YOU CCB. SERIOUSLY. SO WHAT IF YOU WERE A MILLIONAIRE BEFORE. KEYWORD: WERE. YOU WERE. NOW NOT. NOW YOU NEED OUR HELP. SAY I SUCK YOUR BLOOD BY ASKING FOR MORE DOCUMENTS. OK LOR. WHATEVER CRAP DOCUMENT YOU SEND ME I JUST USE. YOUR CASE NOT SOLID ENOUGH TO PROVE KENA REJECTED ALSO YOUR LOSS. YOU HAVE TO PAY, NOT ME. SERIOUSLY. GOD, PLEASE TAKE THIS MOTHERFUCKER AWAY FROM EARTH, THE WORLD. HE DON'T EVEN BELONG TO HELL LOR. CCB. NO ONE EVER MADE ME SO PISSED OFF BEFORE SIA.