Never would I thought I was this broken.

You know those times you sit around with your friends, friends of friends, and you hear them talking about how screwed up their relationships are, and you feel thankful that its not happening to you.

But that revelation you get when you hear something thats strangely familiar. Just brings you back to the past. Leaves you there with flashes and pulses of the heartbreak that you experience somewhere in the past not too far back. And suddenly you realise, everything you do, you take such caution its just so.. sad.

I'm scared to think into the future, because I did with you but look where it got me. I love Jeremy fucking shitloads. But I got to take rainchecks once in awhile, because I'm afraid he's gonna rip my heart out and smash it to the floor, just like you did. My folks never fail to remind me "don't take so serious" because they know how hurt I was last time and they don't want me to be hurt again.

Fuck. Jeremy doesn't deserve this. Fuck why. Seriously. :'(

I wish J is here right now. He always has a way to make it right. Turn my world the right side up.

"..We believed that we could change ourselves, the past could be undone. But we carry on our backs the burden. Time always reveals, the lonely light of morning, the wound that would not heal.." Fallen - Sarah McLachlan