Having 'The Only Exception' by Paramore on repeat. Its making me feel so fucking emotional right now. So fucking insecure, a million thoughts buzzing around in my head, fucking me upside down.

I wish I..

• had skinnier arms
• had skinnier legs
• was taller
• didn't have fucked up complexion
• wasn't so fucking tanned to the extent it looks black
• had slimmer fingers
• had slimmer feet
• had bigger eyes
• nicer hair
• had abs
• was rich
• could do whatever I want without anyone judging me, stopping me
• could tell you everything but I don't dare to and its fucking killing me

-closeeyesanddeepbreathes.

"Well, maybe I know somewhere

Deep in my soul

That love never lasts

And we've got to find other ways

To make it alone

Or keep a straight face

And I've always lived like this

Keeping a comfortable distance

And up till now, I had sworn to myself

That I'm content with loneliness

Because none of it was ever worth the risk

I've got a tight grip on reality

But I can't let go of what's in front of me here

I know you're leaving in the morning when you wake up

Leave me some kind of proof its not a dream

Well, you are the only exception.

And I'm on my way to believing. "

Makes me just wanna scream and cry at the same time.

To all my friends,

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder,
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger,
May you never take one single breath for granted,
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed,
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....I hope you dance.

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance,
Never settle for the path of least resistance,
Livin' might mean takin' chances but they're worth takin',
Lovin' might be a mistake but it's worth makin',
Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter,
When you come close to sellin' out reconsider,
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along,
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone.)

Dance like no one's watching. (:

Shitttt, really still got nothing much to update! ): Sheesh, my life that boring nots? Today was supposed to be all fun and stuff with AmandaMAK, FleaFlyFloFun and PercyJackson BUT SHE LAST MINUTE CANNOT MAKE ITTT! MAJOR SADZXZX OHGHEYS): LOGAN LERMAN MUST WAIT FOR MEEE! :B

Meet my B&J friend, AmandaWANG :D Teehee, all Amandas I know such nice people oneezxzx! :D The whole duration of work yesterday was peppered with gossips and laughters. :D Awesome! Plus MattBFF finally came to look for me during work BUT, sadly he lost his wallet in the whole process. Well I hope everything's fine now for him BUT THEN AGAIN SOMEONE GOT T ALREADY HORZXZX? :D GOT T OTHER STUFF ARE PEANUTS ALREADY :D Hehheh. So now how? My next week is INCREDIBLY EMPTY AND BORING AND GAHHH. Anyone with any bright ideas? ):

Just talked to Matthew BFF, I feel so damn happy for him :D All's well ends well. Got me thinking about myself too. Sometimes I think I am like, really weird. I like people, who are not that into me. Yet I am oblivious to people who like me. Or so I think they do. But you get my drift, no? And what makes me a tad weirder than most people is that, when I find out the person that I like, likes me too? I back away. For what reasons, I HAVE NO FCKING IDEA. Its not that I am playing some stupid mind games. I guess, maybe I am just afraid? I don't know. Tell me who I am, cause I myself don't know who I am. I don't know what I want. I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. Maybe I have no balls, maybe I am a retard, maybe maybe maybes. I hate and know that its mean to cut off contact with someone whom I THINK likes me, but thats just what I do. Time and time again. ): -sigh. There's something wrong with me, ain't it?

Ahhhh. Now come to think of it, I sure am some weirdo. Got things to 烦, will 烦 about those things. Nothing to 烦, I will 烦 about why is it I so sad life, to the extent that I have nothing to 烦 about.

Tell me, not called 自找麻烦, call what? ):

Life's good, life's good, sorry I haven't been updating in awhile. From the VERY occasional party to working to hanging out with friends, I'm good now that school's unofficially over for me(: Happy happy! And I'm all ready for CNY! OMG, can't wait to wear me new clothes! HAHAHA! :D Seriously, I got nothing much to update(:

Oh yes, know what's a douche? YOU're a douche. Fcktard.

ANYWAYS, I've decided to skip a year. Am not gonna apply for Uni this year. Gonna take a break from school, seeing that I've found a job anyways. See where it takes me! WISH ME LUCK! <3