Everything just seems incredibly fucked for the past 3 days. Hottest Canoeist Camp was horrible. Mentally. Everyday shit just keeps happening. Right before school reopens somemore. So so tired of it. Sunday wee morning was the worst. All the shit accumulated just made me snap. Totally with tears pouring and numb fingers. Sobbing non stop, I only drifted to sleep at 4plus after FH listened. )): I knew I was broken, I just didn't know it was to that extent. Want you to know yet I know I couldn't, shouldn't. I can no longer find the correct words to describe just how hurt I am, how deep is this wound you've inflicted on me. Its so so sad. I'm, so so sad.

I was feeling so hyped up about finally partying this Wednesday during work cause I was blasting clubhits all day long. Work today was awesome cause it was major slacking session with Lynette and Amanda. Oh I wish holidays were not ending so soon.

WHY?):

Sadly, all those happy thoughts vanished as fast as they got to my head. Once I was on the way home and the next track that played was 'Inevitable'. I just don't understand myself. Why do I always go back to the same spot when he's no longer there? Plus the fact that he hasn't been there for a long time. Its almost as though I enjoy making myself so miserable by keep visiting and dwelling in the past. Why can't I just, move on and keep walking. Why do I keep turning back? And everytime it gets to the point that I can never see myself loving another because I'd have this conclusion that no matter what happens, it would always have a bad ending. I seriously thought we were gonna live happily ever after. So did everyone else but look where it got me? Nowhere precisely, only hurt and disappointment. Look where he is now. I'm suffering, he's not. So seriously, what for? See what I mean. One minute I'm good. The next, I'm a emo psycho bitch. Sometimes I hate myself for thinking so much. I probably need more tetesterone so that I'll be like a guy and just move on and on and on. Fuck this shit, I'm going Kristin Cavallari this Wednesday and no one's gonna stop me. Bye bitches.

You know what, I'm starting to get a little, teeny weeny bit pissed whenever people scorn at the fact that 'someone' clubs. SERIOUSLY, I don't see anything wrong in clubbing. Those people talk about it as though it is synonymous with the prostituting profession. Girls who club ARE NOT cheap and slutty. Sheesh, only SOME. Those who are gross and eww but NOT ALL. Its terribly unfair on those who are just looking to have a good time with their friends to be labelled as SLUTTY AND whatever negative labels you mountain tortoises have to stick on them. Half the time, these people are those WHO HAVE NEVER tried clubbing before and obviously don't know how fun it is. OR ELSE, perhaps they dance like freaks and are too scared to club so they always use the excuse that OH GIRLS WHO CLUB ARE SLUTS. Sheesh man, GROW SOME BALLS.

So if you're one of those who fervently comment that female clubbers are cheap blah blah blah, seriously, save it. It just goes to show HOW DENSE AND SUPERFICIAL YOU ARE. Peace out.

/edit.

Omg! Before I forget, I saw the cutest guy ever on bus 190 yesterday night! Ahhh, sk8r boi. :D Using same phone somemore, sweeeet!

I am so sadddd. I dyed my hair to dark brown but nobody could tell the difference. ): Paid 35 bucks for it and people only notice my 5dollars fringe trim. FML. AHHH, but I thought there was a difference. I mean, ITS SO EFFING OBVIOUSSS!): Gahh.

My body is aching now, cause of yesterday's sprinting fest during training. Face and shoulder burnt, thanks to Friday's training. Tummy aching thanks to spicy food marathon yesterday. But I loveee yesterday's dinner with TanShunShun and LeowFangFang. HAHAHAHA! Crystal Jade LMXLB for dinner and Haato icecream for dessert. SO GOOD SO GOOOOOD. :D

Okok, I'm going off for lunch now. Be back sooon!

(: Finally going for training tomorrow! I'm definitely missing my paddle and the boat and the water ooh la la! Worked today, spent hugeloads of moolah on food. Today I was spamming food like it was the end of the world tomorrow. I'm going to grow fat!): Then again, what am I saying. I AM FAT ALREADY. FML. Went for impromptu ManiPedi session again, together with trimming my fringe(: Awww life is good, until I smudged one of my nail's polish and discovered the hairdresser trimmed my fringe lopsided. WHOOP life sucks. I really freaking need a money tree, anyone wanna sponsor me money? HAHAHA, fuck that sounds lame. Alright. I wanna sleep already, don't wanna be late for training tmr. NIGHTYNIGHTS PEOPLE.

Had a pretty good day today. Though I spent alot of transportation. Cab to and fro tskkk. Should probably exercise more self discipline me thinks. Caught The Ugly Truth with Ng, was awesome and funny and vulgar! Saw the cutest guy ever at Vivo's Topshop oh God someone save me!): HAHAHA. Think Imma go out and do something with my hair tomorrow, IDK who knows maybe I'll shave it off. My life is so sad and sianzx right now. Life, please surprise me. I don't mind a Peter Parker or a Zac Efron, whichever goes. (: Goodbye.

Harrow! Here to update again! :D Hmm, but IDK what to update about. How about... me not clubbing for a week till 2 weeks? IDK have I told you that? Time for me to rest and chillax and relax whatever fuck. Give me skin some purity! So sad, everytime I xcore club my skin xcore dies like )): Time to shop for masks!

Lately I've been a little disappointed with my hair. Looks lacklustre and always tangled like fuck. Seriously, I can spot them split ends so easily! ): Been wanting to dye it back to black, since I have this golden/lightbrown for more than a year already. Should I? But I am still hesitating 'cause what if I like my lightbrown again how? Have to chiong dye again. TMD decisions decisions.

Got rid of my manicure colour. Surprisingly my nails are quite healthy.. looking. (: Bought a nail buffer shit and gave it away on the same day. HAHA, some angmoh saw me buffing my nails and got so fascinated he stopped me and asked me where I got it. So I gave mine to him. LOL. I can buy it anytime anyways! :D Such a nice Singaporean, he took a picture LOL!

Sigh, should I paint it gold, blue or nudish pink? Ahhhh, I really really like the gold, but the blue is cool BUT WHO CAN RESIST PINK! ^^v

GAHHH, off to bed naozxzx. So tired! Nights!