Its 3:05 in the morning and I'm still up doing my fucking assignments. And with a hellload of stuff on my mind. Sometimes you think that when you are so up to your neck with commitments you're sure the big guy up there won't give you anymore shit to deal with but then He just proves you wrong but giving you situations that you just got to deal with them or at least clog your mind with. Assignments are aplenty this semester that I don't think I can pause to breathe after one cluster is gone because once I inhale, I'm up to my nose in them. Despite the fact that schoolwork is pretty stressful, I made the decision to stay on and play with the team what is left of it. It was like a, 'damned if I do, damned if I don't' kind of situation. You have to do something about the situation but if you do, it won't be a very pretty sight. Well but it wasn't exactly a pretty sight to begin with anyways. \: So after you do something to the lose-lose situation, you feel so utterly upset that things had to go the way that it did but you just gotta suck it up. Cause life is, well, like that? I mean, come on, I should know. I, the very least, seriously should know how it feels. I just don't know what to do about it anymore. It has been dragging and dragging and when is it coming to an end? So so tired about the whole thing. There isn't any use in hiding your emotions cause nobody's gonna make your life better if they can't seem to understand how you feel and what you want. You have to let us know, cause we are afterall a team. -sighs. Really don't know how else to continue this topic anymore.

GWC B&J has a new manager in charge, now I gotta work more too lest I lose my jobbb\:

And lately I have been drinking alot of coffee. Maybe a little too much. So much that I went ahead and got a Starbucks tumbler. Good shit, I'm bringing coffee to school everyday now. But there's only so much that coffee can do. Can it keep me awake to make all the right decisions that probably do as little hurt/harm to the people around me? \: Sigh. Only 18 and life's already fulloshit.

PS - Being deprived of sleep sure makes me cynical hur? Sorry if this post doesn't make much sense. I am so not getting sleep tonight and I have lessons at 9 later and work after my lessons. Awesome much? Feel so much like crying now. SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.