&the love kickstarts again..

"And for those who are in a relationship, I just want you to know that EVERY relationship loses its spark after awhile. It is scientifically proven that it happens after 3 years(or 2, i can’t really remember). It feels like ‘deadness’ submerged into the relationship, you feel bored or uninterested etc. It’s perfectly normal, AND IT DOESN’T MEAN YOU STOPPED LOVING THE PERSON. It only means you’ve forgotten how it feels to be in love, but you still love. If you break up with someone because you think “feelings faded” for that person, it’s only gonna keep happening to every relationship you’re gonna have. Every beautiful memories you have created with your boyfriend when you guys were in love will be the strength you need to continue loving him in a brand new way." 

Credits: http://lifeisinstinct.tumblr.com

I have got to say the different events happening around me and the conversations I have with random individuals really get to me sometimes. I feel so despondent whenever I hear stuff like people breaking up and people going to physical relationships like its totally okay. I just.. lose faith in everything I believe in. 

And it really scares me because I really don't think I can handle it if one day my heart gets broken again. I cannot. And I am not saying this because I don't believe in my relationship with J, its just.. things can be so unpredictable. 

I am not sure about you guys but I have heard that during a relationship, after a certain number of years (and its usually more or less the same amount), the relationship will start to get stagnant and thats when you realise why are the people around you suddenly all getting into breakups and most of the time these people got attached around the same time? And I heard that one of the common period is during the second year, which is our next milestone.

I know I am supposed to be happy, and I am! I really am. But I can't shake off this nagging feeling like something really bad is going to happen. I really can't put a finger to it; this emotion I am feeling now. Feeling so afraid of losing something you really really can't live without.

Personally I think no matter what happens, the main concept of a relationship is all about the fight. When there is a quality of your other half that isn't very lovable, will you still fight on because of the other qualities that you love about him/her? When things get boring, will you fight on because you know that there is still love, it just got buried under layers of habitual comfort? 

I know I am really random to pen this down out of the blue, but just got to get it down somewhere to get it off my chest. 

I just really hope that at the end, I am worth fighting for.

I love you b. And sorry if I am very unlovable sometimes :(