WHY I BLOG;

Just before I start on today's topic, just like to plaster one DP-worthy (in my opinion hehe) picture of myself. Narcissism at it's best, /waves. Sometimes I wonder why I like taking pictures of myself and plastering them all over social media. I mean, honestly, I don't think I am pretty. And when I do upload pictures of myself, I am honestly not fishing for compliments. But it's more of "I know I am not pretty, but I like to document the best parts of myself with good lighting, and good angles." At least when I look back at all these pictures, I won't cringe all the time and wonder "what a bad looking kid" I was back then. Not that I need to justify everything I do to people who don't really care, but, just FYI. 

If people were to pay me a compliment, thanks for acknowledging my efforts. I know I am not extremely aesthetically pleasing, but I do try. Very hard indeed. But if you think I am not aesthetically pleasing enough for you, and you want to tell me in my face, go right ahead. Your mouth, I can't stop you from doing so. But I do try, not for your visual pleasure, but for mine. LOL. As long as I'm happy with how I look at times, that's plenty good enough for me. 

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Disclaimer: This is really just my views, my perception on the blogosphere. There is no intention to offend anyone, no way no how. 

I always find it hard to start writing on a topic. When I read some specific individual's website, I marvel at their writing styles, and their vocabulary, and how they are able to string their thoughts into a cohesive and relevant sentence yet make it look and sound so sophisticated. Do they think and draft their thoughts on a Word document and subsequently copy and paste it into their posts before submitting it online? Or are their thoughts, just that sophisticated in their raw format? Because how I blog, is just me, regurgitating my thoughts into words straight into the screen as you're reading it right now. It's like me, talking to you, through this very screen you're looking at right now. Am I making any sense? 

M was telling me on Saturday (or was it Friday), that my train of thoughts are all over the place. Even when I converse with people, be it face to face, or via texts, the things I say jump all over the place. I could be talking to you about the weather right now, and the next thing you know, we're talking about my lunch yesterday. And I think this jumbled thoughts situation I am in really rubs off on my writings. 

See, we got off track again. Anyways, why am I blogging about this is because I am curious to know, what exactly makes an interesting blog? And why do people blog?

I started blogging on this very platform, blogger, since eons ago. Ever since I was in secondary 2, I believe, but the language used in my posts back then is pure disaster. It's so horrible, I have since revert their status to 'draft'. HAHA. So nobody can read what I wrote back then, and scorn at what poor grammar and vocabulary I have. 

But I guess the essence of why I blog, never really changed much since then. This blog, which went through a whole series of different address down to the current one (which is my name), has mainly been an outlet for me to share my life, and my thoughts. Nothing much changed. In between, somewhere around 2007 to 2009, I started to cut down a lot on blogging. I started coming back to this site when I broke up with R, mainly because I needed somewhere to pen my thoughts, and anger. LOL. Apologies, R.

It was easier to blog then too, when I graduated from Polytechnic shortly after the break up, and had plenty of time on hand and my part time job as a Scoopy at B&J allowed me to blog frequently. But after graduation, I found my first full time employment, subsequently got into my next serious relationship and my dear blog, got neglected again. 

I came back here from time to time from 2010 to end 2011 and documented little snippets of my life. Nothing much, just minor hiccups and release of pent-up emotions due to work-related issues. 

I only started getting back into really blogging when I got my Canon G12 at the end of 2011. I reckon, with better quality pictures, I could blog more interesting articles perhaps?

Readership started to increase, no doubt about it. Honestly, I have no idea who is reading my blog, but it felt nice, to know that there are people out there who are interested in what you're writing about. (: Though nobody comments much on my blog, it was a sort of mini motivation for me to write more frequently. 

Then came the whole craze about blogging and it being a possible profession. And suddenly everyone wanted to be a blogger. Everyone wanted to be like Xiaxue. I mean, it's nice to be able to work as a blogger. Everyone wanted to just sit at home, get invited to events, get sponsored all sorts of products, and just basically get paid to do something seemingly as easy as write about it (which for your information is far from easy, but maybe I'll talk about that in another post). Plus it must feel really good to be "popular", suddenly everybody wants to know you, anything and everything about you. 

I'll be real honest, I was tempted. The idea of being able to earn a living from blogging, sounds like a dream to me. 

Firstly, I love writing. I love expressing my thoughts. I love being able to convey my thoughts to people, which is why I love talking to people. I like the exchange of ideas; and I love reading blogs that showcase the way an individual thinks. 

Secondly, maybe it's just me, but to be someone who others would like to emulate, sounds pretty darn cool to me. Like when you see someone on IG, you'd be like "Whoa she's so cool, I wish I was half as cool as her." Obviously I don't mean I want to BE her. It's just, most people want to always be the best of themselves, and if this individual is your perception of what you want to be, you would start to mentally break down, what makes her cool, and kind of adopt that into your own style? I mean, what is originality? Somewhere, somehow, it has got to start from somewhere right? So what makes something The Original? 

...suddenly lost my train of thoughts... oh yes!

So I was saying, I was tempted. If you've been reading my blog since back then, you would have perhaps seen me put somewhere on my left side bar, "to contact me for any advertorial/sponsorship queries". Just merely writing it out, makes me want to cringe like I just ate a lemon. I can't believe I actually once thought I was all that and placed it there. Ewww.

So what changed?

I guess somewhere along the road to self-discovery (as a girl who blogs), I realised the term blogger became such a flippant word. It got thrown around so carelessly, and easily. Anyone who has a blogger/wordpress/livejournal/tumblr account automatically became a blogger. Which is why now I refuse that term, I prefer being called, the girl who blogs. I am just someone who blogs. But I am not a blogger. That is, disclaimer once again, my definition. 

Blogs used to be an avenue for people to pen their honest thoughts, and for the documentation of their lives. True bloggers got famous, because people are genuinely interested in their lives, their views on issues in life and such, but now blogs are just a way for any Tom, Dick or Harry to get famous. I used to refer to blogs for honest reviews on some products and services but now so many blogs are exploited for advertorial purposes, I don't even know what to trust anymore!

Yes, I am aware that from time to time, I do do sponsored reviews and posts. But I would like to hereby swear that everything written on this blog, past present and future, will always be my honest, unbiased opinions. Which is why I took down that portion of my side bar that prompts people, "potential advertisers", to contact me to do advertorials. 

I am not saying that advertising on blogs is a stupid move, in fact, I think it's a brilliant move. But I guess with a lot of things, they all started out with good intentions, in this case it was a move of progression in technology and marketing; but it got warped in the process by people giddy for fame.

Now what do I mean by True bloggers? They are the ones who effortlessly get a following, just by being who they are. They don't need to be a sellout to get popular. Whereas now, "bloggers" are a dime a dozen.

Why do I suddenly feel inclined to write about this? I just feel that too many bloggers out there are way too desperate to prove their worth that they fail to see the true 'meaning' or purpose of blogging? Way too many bloggers are blogging for the sake of blogging, and not because they are really passionate in sharing something they know, or sharing their lives? I hope I am making sense here. And I think this is the problem with our society nowadays. Everything is profit-driven, and very little of what we see now is passion-driven. I think people need to realise that the things that ultimately outlast everything else, are the things born of passion. This applies in a lot of context, relationship, business, and in this case, blogging. When you are doing something for the sake of doing it and not because you simply love doing it, one day you get tired of it, and you just not put in your best in doing whatever it is. But when you do something because you love it, you won't ever get tired of doing it, simply because you enjoy it! This sounds familiar right, Steve Jobs once said, "..the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do." Amen, bruh.

Just be who you are; no matter what situation this applies to in Life, relationship or blogging or work or whatever, the right people will stay no matter what. If people like the way you write, they will come back again to read your blog. You don't need tons of sponsorship just to prove your worth, that should be a perk on top of being able to share your life, your thoughts with strangers. (:

OKAY, back to why I blog. So right nowwww, I really enjoy blogging because I have so much thoughts in my head! There are so many from different varieties I don't even know where to begin! I wish I could be the sort of person who could keep everything inside; I wish I could be the sort who was cool and mysterious, the sort that people would scratch their heads trying to understand. But nope. I am somewhat, an open book and I wear my heart on my sleeve. I try my best to be guarded, but I'm an open book instead. DOHHHHH, did I just quote a Lifehouse song, oh yes I did! ;) 

(off track, back on track again) I am also trying to blog more often to hone my writing. There is no point in telling people how much I love the English language and how much I love writing when I don't write much at all, yes? And doing weekly updates does not really give me much of an opportunity to practise writing, mostly the posts are just one big visual spam. I am also aware that perhaps my paragraph structure has much to be improved on; same goes for my grammar and vocabulary, but I am trying :)

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What a lengthy post. Hopefully it's coherent enough for you. If you're like me, and love thinking about stuff, and love picking people's brains too, let me know of any topics you want to hear my views on and I will maybe blog about it (if I feel strongly enough of it)! 

Till my next post, stay safe!! :D